1. Where do you live?
Beaverton, Oregon- suburb of Portland. You know on the show Arrested Development when someone- Gob more often than anyone – says “I’ve made a huge mistake.” I relate. Soon as I can save enough money, I’m moving back to San Francisco. I’ll pay the high rent!
2. How many years have you played fantasy baseball- this league in particular?
It is either my 7th or 8th year. I think it is the 8th, but thereabouts.
3. What is your favorite team?
Minnesota Twins. Though I like the Giants almost as much. I’m always happy for the A’s to win as well, so long as it isn’t against the other two.
4. Describe yourself however you want/brief intro.
I hate when you ask for a Stella and they offer you Trumer instead. I believe Cheney had something to do with 9/11. Lena Dunham bugs the crap out of me. The Replacements album Let It Be is my favorite. Once a year, I crave sloppy joes.
5. Who do you think will win the World Series?
If the Nationals can’t win it, I’ll be kind of happy cause they pulled Strasburg early last season. The hubris. If I had to put money on a team though, I’ll go Giants again, and I’m not just saying that.
6. Who is your favorite player on your fantasy team?
Torii Hunter. I’ll drop him though, if he stinks it up.
7. Who, if anyone, are you open to trade?
I’ll listen to offers for Joe Mauer if Jonathan Lucroy plays well. I like trades. I’m gonna stay off the waiver wire for the most part- unless there are injuries… until the playoffs anyway.
8. Anything to say about what your team name means/how you came up with it?
Apparently, there is a porn niche out there of cakesitting. As porn goes, it seems so innocent! Also, when I was the Baseball Furies early on in this league this year, Slim started calling me the Furries, another porn allusion. Anyway, also in Sparky Lyle’s book The Bronx Zoo he wrote about how whenever a player found himself hitting the showers- usually a pitcher- and there was a birthday cake on the catering table, they would drop trou and sit on it before showering.
9. Who is your favorite baseball player of all time?
Bombo Rivera!
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Extra inning question: If you were a player- batter or reliever – what would your intro song be?
“Jailbreak” by Thin Lizzy. Not an original choice. Craig Finn of The Hold Steady, and a major Twins fan, was asked this same question by Rolling Stone and that was his answer. Great answer, so I stole it from him. [Listen here]
The Baseball Messiah League 