Meet: She Hate Me

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1. Where do you live?

Oakland, in Rockridge.

2. How many years have you played fantasy baseball- this league in particular?

Never, first time.

3. What is your favorite team?

Not really a baseball fan but it would have to be the Giants. I tend to watch anything Maryland Terrapins related and the USA men’s soccer team.

4. Describe yourself however you want/brief intro.

I am [Say Hi 2 Ur Mom 4 Me]’s imaginary friend. We have been imaginary friends since high school. I also have a very imaginary job in financial services but I am sadly a real dad.

5. Who do you think will win the World Series?

No idea.

6. Who is your favorite player on your fantasy team?

Coco Crisp. Who would name their child Coco when your last name is Crisp?

7. Who, if anyone, are you open to trade?

I’ll trade almost anyone for Clayton Kershaw, anyone.

8. Anything to say about what your team name means/how you came up with it?

It was from the opening game of the old XFL. The players were allowed to put any name on their jersey including nicknames. The stand-out was “He Hate Me”, Rod Smart.

9. Who is your favorite baseball player of all time?

Kevin Mitchell.

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The Collective All-Time Favorite Players of The Baseball Messiah League

This gallery contains 18 photos.

The good, the bad and the ugly.

Meet: Bucketz Bomberz

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1. Where do you live?

I live in Oaktown.

2. How many years have you played fantasy baseball- this league in particular?

About 5 or 6 years, all years in this league except last year.

3. What is your favorite team?

I love the Phillies, A’s a close second, with the Giants in third.

4. Describe yourself however you want/brief intro.

I am an extreme athlete, open water swimmer, adrenaline junkie and mom.

5. Who do you think will win the World Series?

I think the Braves will win the series. It pains me to say that.

6. Who is your favorite player on your fantasy team?

I love Dickey’s story and I think Pence is a crack up.

7. Who, if anyone, are you open to trade?

I will listen to trades on Votto, Cargo or Kimbrel. Gots to be big for those names though…

8. Anything to say about what your team name means/how you came up with it?

My Dad, rest in peace, was Eddie Joe Buckets (nickname). My first name begins with an L…plus I love home runs!

9. Who is your favorite baseball player of all time?

I loved Steve Carlton (Lefty), but I have to go with Mike Schmidt!!!

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Extra inning question: If you were a player- batter or reliever – what would your intro song be?

[GTMO ASS] took mine. Love that song. I’ll go with Pink’s “U + Ur Hand”  [Listen here]

Meet: twin killers

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1. Where do you live?

Hudson, Wisconsin- a suburb of the Twin Cities.

2. How many years have you played fantasy baseball- this league in particular?

This is my fourth year- third or fourth- all in this league.

3. What is your favorite team?

The Minnesota Twins.

4. Describe yourself however you want/brief intro.

I’m Chris’s [The Cakesitters] dad, and I love baseball.

5. Who do you think will win the World Series?

The Giants.

6. Who is your favorite player on your fantasy team?

Matt Cain.

7. Who, if anyone, are you open to trade?

A.J. Pierzynski

8. Anything to say about what your team name means/how you came up with it?

It is a play on the Twins, meant to mean that they were going to be killers of other teams, though that may never happen again.

9. Who is your favorite player of all time?

Henry Aaron… and Warren Spahn, because I’ve met both of them.

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Extra inning question: If you were a player- batter or reliever – what would your intro song be?

I was going to say “We Are the Champions” by Queen, but that would be too egotistical and an awful lot of pressure, so I don’t know.  Chris recommended “We Will Rock You” by Queen.  [Listen here]

Meet: Slim’s Hard Ballers

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1. Where do you live?

Downtown Oakland. In a section called Uptown. Go figure.

2. How many years have you played fantasy baseball- this league in particular?

Too many.  I’ve sworn off this horrible league after every season since 2008.

3. What is your favorite team?

I grew up near Denver with no team, traveling back to NY annually to get schooled in ball from my grandfather’s box at Shea. Moved to porn valley when I was 9 and spent some time at Chavez Ravine watching the ’83 Dodgers. Didn’t care about baseball when I lived in Philly due to the strike in ’94, but went to ballgames anyway. Really enjoyed the legendary 2002 A’s run up to 20 wins. Spent the last few years watching the Giants kill it.

Glad I’m not a Yankees fan.

4. Describe yourself however you want/brief intro.

Aging ex-punk rocker turned Yuppie with a huge appetite for the finer things: fine wine, loose women, hard drugs. And I’m hell bent on a pitching empire.

5. Who do you think will win the World Series?

The Giants or the Nationals.

6. Who is your favorite player on your fantasy team?

Nick Swisher. He’s kind of a mindless bro, but he seems likable.

7. Who, if anyone, are you open to trade?

Make me an offer I can’t refuse and I likely won’t refuse it.

8. Anything to say about what your team name means/how you came up with it?

If you need an explanation of the double entendre that is my team name, please feel free to ask. And brace yourself for the lies and ridicule.

9. Who is your favorite baseball player of all time?

It’s a toss up.

Dock Ellis, who pitched a no-hitter in 1970 on LSD.

Jackie Robinson, just for being himself.

Lenny Dykstra.

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Extra inning question: If you were a player- batter or reliever – what would your intro song be?

I’d be a reliever… “Revolution” by Spacemen 3. [Listen here]

Meet: The Cakesitters

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1. Where do you live?

Beaverton, Oregon- suburb of Portland.  You know on the show Arrested Development when someone- Gob more often than anyone – says “I’ve made a huge mistake.”  I relate. Soon as I can save enough money, I’m moving back to San Francisco. I’ll pay the high rent!

2. How many years have you played fantasy baseball- this league in particular?

It is either my 7th or 8th year.  I think it is the 8th, but thereabouts.

3. What is your favorite team?

Minnesota Twins. Though I like the Giants almost as much.  I’m always happy for the A’s to win as well, so long as it isn’t against the other two.

4. Describe yourself however you want/brief intro.

I hate when you ask for a Stella and they offer you Trumer instead. I believe Cheney had something to do with 9/11. Lena Dunham bugs the crap out of me. The Replacements album Let It Be is my favorite. Once a year, I crave sloppy joes.

5. Who do you think will win the World Series?

If the Nationals can’t win it, I’ll be kind of happy cause they pulled Strasburg early last season. The hubris. If I had to put money on a team though, I’ll go Giants again, and I’m not just saying that.  

6. Who is your favorite player on your fantasy team?

Torii Hunter.  I’ll drop him though, if he stinks it up.

7. Who, if anyone, are you open to trade?

I’ll listen to offers for Joe Mauer if Jonathan Lucroy plays well.  I like trades.  I’m gonna stay off the waiver wire for the most part- unless there are injuries… until the playoffs anyway.

8. Anything to say about what your team name means/how you came up with it?

Apparently, there is a porn niche out there of cakesitting.  As porn goes, it seems so innocent!  Also, when I was the Baseball Furies early on in this league this year, Slim started calling me the Furries, another porn allusion.  Anyway, also in Sparky Lyle’s book The Bronx Zoo he wrote about how whenever a player found himself hitting the showers- usually a pitcher- and there was a birthday cake on the catering table, they would drop trou and sit on it before showering.

9. Who is your favorite baseball player of all time?

Bombo Rivera!

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Extra inning question: If you were a player- batter or reliever – what would your intro song be?

“Jailbreak” by Thin Lizzy. Not an original choice. Craig Finn of The Hold Steady, and a major Twins fan, was asked this same question by Rolling Stone and that was his answer. Great answer, so I stole it from him.  [Listen here]

Meet: Bash Bridges

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1. Where do you live?

Oakland.

2. How many years have you played fantasy baseball- this year in particular?

Hmm, 7 or 8 years now.

3. What is your favorite team?

The Athletics.

4. Describe yourself however you want/brief intro.

I’m a diehard sports fan with a predilection for picking lousy teams (last year’s A’s excepted). I’m a working musician currently looking for a vocational excuse to turn music back into a hobby.

5. Who do you think will win the World Series?

I said Detroit last year, so I’m sticking with the Tigers.

6. Who is your favorite player on your fantasy team?

Troy Tulowitzki.

7. Who, if anyone, are you open to trade?

Everyone can be traded- I love a good trade.

8. Anything to say about what your team name means/how you came up with it?

Just riffing on some Bay Area themes.

9. Who is your favorite baseball player of all time?

Toss up: George Brett and Mickey Hatcher.

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Extra inning question: If you were a player- batter or reliever – what would your intro song be?

“Sweet Leaf” by Black Sabbath [Listen here]

Meet: Schweddy Balls

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1. Where do you live?

San Francisco.

2. How many years have you played fantasy baseball- this league in particular?

I’ve played in other leagues on and off for about ten years.  This is my first year in your league.

3. What is your favorite team?

San Francisco Giants.

4. Describe yourself however you want/brief intro.

San Francisco native, left-wing conservative, and uber sports nerd extraordinaire.

5. Who do you think will win the World Series?

Tough call. I hope and want my Giants to repeat but on paper I would have to go with the Reds.

6. Who is  your favorite player on your fantasy team?

That ‘roider Ryan Braun or Starlin Castro from the Cubbies.

7. Who, if anyone, are you open to trade?

I’m open to any and all trades. I could always use more pitching.

8. Anything to say about what your team name means/how you came up with it?

My love of Saturday Night Live/Alec Baldwin and my general immature sense of humor 😉

9. Who is your favorite baseball player of all time?

Will Clark.

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Extra inning question: If you were a player- batter or reliever – what would your intro song be?

“Careless Whisper” by Wham, just to see the collective jaw-dropping and WTF? looks around the ballpark.  [Listen here]

Meet: The Wayfarers

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1. Where do you live?

I live in Alameda, CA.

2. How many years have you played fantasy baseball- this league in particular?

I have played fantasy baseball exclusively in this league.  I think this will be my fourth year.  [Note: seventh year]

3. What is your favorite team?

My favorite team is the SF Giants because it always has been. But I also like the A’s, because I have lived in the East Bay for years now, it’s really cheap and fun to go to games, and last year was such a fun season for them!

4. Describe yourself however you want/brief intro.

I know Chris [The Cakesitters] from working at InsideTrack for 8 million years.  He escaped, but I am still here, though not for long. I am 32, married to a teacher, and going to nursing school next year. In other words, pretty boring.

5. Who do you think will win the World Series?

I have no clue.  Hopefully, the A’s!

6. Who is your favorite player on your fantasy team?

Justin Upton, because for some reason I have drawn him randomly in the draft for the past four years, so I think we are meant to be. Also, Justin Verlander, because pitchers are the most fun.

7. Who, if anyone, are you open to trade?

No one, yet.

8. Anything to say about what your team name means/how you came up with it?

The Wayfarers are just sunglasses I have worn for the past few years. It’s been my team name before, so I cheated.

9. Who is your favorite player of all time?

Timmy Lincecum, in spite of last year. He got a haircut, so anything can happen! Also, I kind of love Manny Ramirez for being such a stupid moron.

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Extra inning question: If you were a player- batter or reliever – what would your intro song be?

“Crazy on You” by Heart.  [Listen here]

Meet: GTMO ASS

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1. Where do you live?

Guantanamo Bay, Cuba  [note: he’s serious]

2. How many years have you played fantasy baseball- this league in particular?

First year virgin.

3. What is your favorite team?

SF Giants.

4. Describe yourself however you want/brief intro.

Free thinking spirit who blows through the psyches of those who impact me.

5. Who do you think will win the World Series?

Refer to #3.

6. Who is your favorite player on your fantasy team?

Brian Wilson, who is not playing.

7. Who, if anyone, are you open to trade?

Talk to me…

8. Anything to say about what your team name means/how you came up with it?

Everyone should GTMO ass!

9. Who is your favorite baseball player of all time?

Roberto Clemente.

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Extra inning question: If you were a player- batter or reliever – what would your intro song be?

“Burning Down the House” by Talking Heads… though I would change it every night to keep folks guessing and interested.  Always a rock song.  [Listen here]