Brandon Crawford- check out this pic

Live Fast Cy Young just added Giants SS Brandon Crawford to his team, and as I plan to keep updating everyone’s slideshow through all your transactions, I couldn’t help but post a picture that the SF Chronicle unearthed last year of Brandon Crawford as a five-year-old during a Giants game in 1992 at Candlestick Park.  It was the last of the old Giants– pre-Bonds- back when Roger Craig was managing and Will Clark, Matt Williams, Robbie Thompson etc. were the stars and there was a real threat of the Giants moving to Florida (which explains the references on the signs in the photo).

Anyway, twenty years later that little guy in the photo was an integral part of the Giants winning their second World Series in San Francisco.

Here he is during the World Series parade in San Francisco in 2012:

And here he is as a five-year-old at a Giants game in 1992:

…

Ladies and Gentlemen, Your First Place Houston Astros!!

After a winter of being told they are the worst team in possibly the history of baseball, they have made a statement.

Their spring went better than projected, and if any team deserves to have an “it’s us against the world” it is the Astros.

With the exception of Jose Altuve, almost all of the Astros went undrafted.

Let’s see who from our league had the foresight to pick players from the- for now- most dominant team in the league:

Mishandled Samples has Chris Carter, though he left him on the bench tonight… not a bad move, as Carter went 0-4.  Mishandled Samples must remember Carter from his early days with the A’s.

The Wayfarers has closer Jose Veras, though he wasn’t required to pitch in the 8-2 blowout over the Texas Rangers.

She Hate Me has Jose Altuve- a great player- who went 2-4 with a run scored.  And that’s it for our league, three players from your first place Astros.  Of course, I’m not sure She Hate Me exists– I’ve always given Say Hi 2 Ur Mom 4 Me a little crap about She Hate Me– always referred to him as his imaginary friend.  She Hate Me did have three Rangers though that accounted for 5 of Texas’ 6 hits, but 3 of those were by guys on the bench.

So for a day, anyway, the Houston Astros are a first place team.  Isn’t it great to have baseball back?…

The Collective All-Time Favorite Players of The Baseball Messiah League

This gallery contains 18 photos.

The good, the bad and the ugly.

Meet: Bucketz Bomberz

This slideshow requires JavaScript.

1. Where do you live?

I live in Oaktown.

2. How many years have you played fantasy baseball- this league in particular?

About 5 or 6 years, all years in this league except last year.

3. What is your favorite team?

I love the Phillies, A’s a close second, with the Giants in third.

4. Describe yourself however you want/brief intro.

I am an extreme athlete, open water swimmer, adrenaline junkie and mom.

5. Who do you think will win the World Series?

I think the Braves will win the series. It pains me to say that.

6. Who is your favorite player on your fantasy team?

I love Dickey’s story and I think Pence is a crack up.

7. Who, if anyone, are you open to trade?

I will listen to trades on Votto, Cargo or Kimbrel. Gots to be big for those names though…

8. Anything to say about what your team name means/how you came up with it?

My Dad, rest in peace, was Eddie Joe Buckets (nickname). My first name begins with an L…plus I love home runs!

9. Who is your favorite baseball player of all time?

I loved Steve Carlton (Lefty), but I have to go with Mike Schmidt!!!

…

Extra inning question: If you were a player- batter or reliever – what would your intro song be?

[GTMO ASS] took mine. Love that song. I’ll go with Pink’s “U + Ur Hand”  [Listen here]

Opening Day

I follow all major professional sports. I do not consider hockey to be a major professional sport; not until the playoffs at any rate. But I follow football (both kinds), basketball and baseball. I spend absurdly long hours watching ‘my teams’: The Warriors, the Earthquakes, Tottenham, the Raiders, all manner of collegiate teams. I watch them play, I chat about them at the bar, I ‘like’ their fan pages online, I do all this from mid-October through March.

Then comes April and with it baseball. Then come the A’s. I don’t just watch the A’s. I identify with the team, with their connection to Oakland, to the mission-impossible the team faces every single day. The A’s came here in 1966 via Philadelphia/Kansas City. They quickly became a Bay Area icon, rocking mustaches and cigars while the rest of the Bay wore tie-dye and patchouli. They had a steroid-addled encore in the late ’80s and a likewise-addled gasp of success early in this century.

Then came last year. Manager Melvin steered a band of misfits, rookies and castoffs to the AL West title. They did it day by day, inning by inning, the way any baseball team – even the mighty cock sucking Yankees – do it. But they did it with a sense of joy and sheer abandon, something those cock suckers in the Bronx can no longer understand.

Happy Easter and best of luck to everyone. And let the A’s continue what they started last year. Lord knows Oakland needs the morale boost.

Meet: twin killers

This slideshow requires JavaScript.

1. Where do you live?

Hudson, Wisconsin- a suburb of the Twin Cities.

2. How many years have you played fantasy baseball- this league in particular?

This is my fourth year- third or fourth- all in this league.

3. What is your favorite team?

The Minnesota Twins.

4. Describe yourself however you want/brief intro.

I’m Chris’s [The Cakesitters] dad, and I love baseball.

5. Who do you think will win the World Series?

The Giants.

6. Who is your favorite player on your fantasy team?

Matt Cain.

7. Who, if anyone, are you open to trade?

A.J. Pierzynski

8. Anything to say about what your team name means/how you came up with it?

It is a play on the Twins, meant to mean that they were going to be killers of other teams, though that may never happen again.

9. Who is your favorite player of all time?

Henry Aaron… and Warren Spahn, because I’ve met both of them.

…

Extra inning question: If you were a player- batter or reliever – what would your intro song be?

I was going to say “We Are the Champions” by Queen, but that would be too egotistical and an awful lot of pressure, so I don’t know.  Chris recommended “We Will Rock You” by Queen.  [Listen here]

Meet: Slim’s Hard Ballers

This slideshow requires JavaScript.

1. Where do you live?

Downtown Oakland. In a section called Uptown. Go figure.

2. How many years have you played fantasy baseball- this league in particular?

Too many.  I’ve sworn off this horrible league after every season since 2008.

3. What is your favorite team?

I grew up near Denver with no team, traveling back to NY annually to get schooled in ball from my grandfather’s box at Shea. Moved to porn valley when I was 9 and spent some time at Chavez Ravine watching the ’83 Dodgers. Didn’t care about baseball when I lived in Philly due to the strike in ’94, but went to ballgames anyway. Really enjoyed the legendary 2002 A’s run up to 20 wins. Spent the last few years watching the Giants kill it.

Glad I’m not a Yankees fan.

4. Describe yourself however you want/brief intro.

Aging ex-punk rocker turned Yuppie with a huge appetite for the finer things: fine wine, loose women, hard drugs. And I’m hell bent on a pitching empire.

5. Who do you think will win the World Series?

The Giants or the Nationals.

6. Who is your favorite player on your fantasy team?

Nick Swisher. He’s kind of a mindless bro, but he seems likable.

7. Who, if anyone, are you open to trade?

Make me an offer I can’t refuse and I likely won’t refuse it.

8. Anything to say about what your team name means/how you came up with it?

If you need an explanation of the double entendre that is my team name, please feel free to ask. And brace yourself for the lies and ridicule.

9. Who is your favorite baseball player of all time?

It’s a toss up.

Dock Ellis, who pitched a no-hitter in 1970 on LSD.

Jackie Robinson, just for being himself.

Lenny Dykstra.

…

Extra inning question: If you were a player- batter or reliever – what would your intro song be?

I’d be a reliever… “Revolution” by Spacemen 3. [Listen here]

Meet: The Cakesitters

This slideshow requires JavaScript.

1. Where do you live?

Beaverton, Oregon- suburb of Portland.  You know on the show Arrested Development when someone- Gob more often than anyone – says “I’ve made a huge mistake.”  I relate. Soon as I can save enough money, I’m moving back to San Francisco. I’ll pay the high rent!

2. How many years have you played fantasy baseball- this league in particular?

It is either my 7th or 8th year.  I think it is the 8th, but thereabouts.

3. What is your favorite team?

Minnesota Twins. Though I like the Giants almost as much.  I’m always happy for the A’s to win as well, so long as it isn’t against the other two.

4. Describe yourself however you want/brief intro.

I hate when you ask for a Stella and they offer you Trumer instead. I believe Cheney had something to do with 9/11. Lena Dunham bugs the crap out of me. The Replacements album Let It Be is my favorite. Once a year, I crave sloppy joes.

5. Who do you think will win the World Series?

If the Nationals can’t win it, I’ll be kind of happy cause they pulled Strasburg early last season. The hubris. If I had to put money on a team though, I’ll go Giants again, and I’m not just saying that.  

6. Who is your favorite player on your fantasy team?

Torii Hunter.  I’ll drop him though, if he stinks it up.

7. Who, if anyone, are you open to trade?

I’ll listen to offers for Joe Mauer if Jonathan Lucroy plays well.  I like trades.  I’m gonna stay off the waiver wire for the most part- unless there are injuries… until the playoffs anyway.

8. Anything to say about what your team name means/how you came up with it?

Apparently, there is a porn niche out there of cakesitting.  As porn goes, it seems so innocent!  Also, when I was the Baseball Furies early on in this league this year, Slim started calling me the Furries, another porn allusion.  Anyway, also in Sparky Lyle’s book The Bronx Zoo he wrote about how whenever a player found himself hitting the showers- usually a pitcher- and there was a birthday cake on the catering table, they would drop trou and sit on it before showering.

9. Who is your favorite baseball player of all time?

Bombo Rivera!

…

Extra inning question: If you were a player- batter or reliever – what would your intro song be?

“Jailbreak” by Thin Lizzy. Not an original choice. Craig Finn of The Hold Steady, and a major Twins fan, was asked this same question by Rolling Stone and that was his answer. Great answer, so I stole it from him.  [Listen here]

Meet: Bash Bridges

This slideshow requires JavaScript.

1. Where do you live?

Oakland.

2. How many years have you played fantasy baseball- this year in particular?

Hmm, 7 or 8 years now.

3. What is your favorite team?

The Athletics.

4. Describe yourself however you want/brief intro.

I’m a diehard sports fan with a predilection for picking lousy teams (last year’s A’s excepted). I’m a working musician currently looking for a vocational excuse to turn music back into a hobby.

5. Who do you think will win the World Series?

I said Detroit last year, so I’m sticking with the Tigers.

6. Who is your favorite player on your fantasy team?

Troy Tulowitzki.

7. Who, if anyone, are you open to trade?

Everyone can be traded- I love a good trade.

8. Anything to say about what your team name means/how you came up with it?

Just riffing on some Bay Area themes.

9. Who is your favorite baseball player of all time?

Toss up: George Brett and Mickey Hatcher.

…

Extra inning question: If you were a player- batter or reliever – what would your intro song be?

“Sweet Leaf” by Black Sabbath [Listen here]

Meet: Schweddy Balls

This slideshow requires JavaScript.

1. Where do you live?

San Francisco.

2. How many years have you played fantasy baseball- this league in particular?

I’ve played in other leagues on and off for about ten years.  This is my first year in your league.

3. What is your favorite team?

San Francisco Giants.

4. Describe yourself however you want/brief intro.

San Francisco native, left-wing conservative, and uber sports nerd extraordinaire.

5. Who do you think will win the World Series?

Tough call. I hope and want my Giants to repeat but on paper I would have to go with the Reds.

6. Who is  your favorite player on your fantasy team?

That ‘roider Ryan Braun or Starlin Castro from the Cubbies.

7. Who, if anyone, are you open to trade?

I’m open to any and all trades. I could always use more pitching.

8. Anything to say about what your team name means/how you came up with it?

My love of Saturday Night Live/Alec Baldwin and my general immature sense of humor 😉

9. Who is your favorite baseball player of all time?

Will Clark.

…

Extra inning question: If you were a player- batter or reliever – what would your intro song be?

“Careless Whisper” by Wham, just to see the collective jaw-dropping and WTF? looks around the ballpark.  [Listen here]